In 2005 I asked God to send me a puppy who would bring love to my home.  A puppy who would sit on my lap or my desk, while I worked.  A puppy who would be a cuddle-bug and hold the energy of joy, laughter and the love of God.  And He sent Majik to me.  Majik fulfilled everything I asked for and so much more - the love that he was far exceeded what my human brain could imagine!

The sweet, gentle, loving spirit of Majik Payden raised his paw and joined the physical world on June 5, 2005.  He was born in South Carolina to Miss Bunni's Molly and Panama.  I live in Colorado, so he flew on a plane with the angels to come live with me.  (NOTE:  Majik Payden was named after Kevin Kline's character Paden in the western movie, Silverado - not Peyton Manning, although we are fans.)

I was sooooo excited to pick him up at the airport!  When I opened the crate and looked into those big puppy eyes in the middle of all that fluff, I fell in love and the magic began.

I was always learning from him... in those first months I learned how when he was really serious about sleeping, I'd hear a deep heavy sigh, then he'd be off to dream land.  He was a great little sleeper - sleeping all night long - there was no crying puppy in the night at our house.  Sometimes when we would stay up late, he'd go to bed without us when it was bed time!

I learned that Majik's favorite color is blue.  People will tell you that dog's can't see color.  Seeing doesn't matter!  Color has energy and Majik loved the energy of blue, so a lot of his toys are blue and he has blue beds and blue blankets and a blue snowsuit and blue argyle sweater and leash and harness and bandanas and food bowls...

I had purchased a half size baby play pen to keep him corralled while I worked, but Maj was having none of that!  He learned to climb up the side of the playpen to the top of my desk to be a part of what I was doing and cuddle on my lap.  So I put one of his beds on my desk and the playpen quickly became a thing of the past.

As you know puppies are chewers.  One day while I was working he was under the desk - quietly chewing - on the cord to my Epson printer!  When I discovered what he was doing, I scolded him, then saw the cord and thanked God he hadn't been electrocuted!  He hadn't chewed the cord into two pieces, but there was no way it was ever going to work again - and the cord wasn't removable.  I called Epson, explained what happened, and asked if there was a way to take the printer apart to replace the cord.  There wasn't.  I was very surprised when they offered to send me a new printer - at no charge!  I'm a customer for life!

When Majik was only 4 months old, my dad, Big Jim, died in open heart surgery on October 31, 2005.  After my mom called me to tell me there was a problem in the operating room, Majik became an integral part of my spiritual journey that I didn't expect.  He was a part of my connection with Daddy a thousand miles away in the operating room and Maj saw Daddy come to visit for the first time ---and growled at him!  (You may read our story in the Waiting in the Other Room book that Daddy and I wrote together in 2009 - 4 years after he passed.)

Animals see the realm of spirit - angels, guides, archangels, light beings and deceased loved ones and Majik often shared what he saw through his behavior. 

That Halloween night as Majik and I sat at my desk waiting for Freddy to come home, the sun went down and darkness crept down the hallway.  The light over my desk was the only one on in the house, and I just couldn't bring myself to get up to turn more on.  Majik was sitting in my lap, comforting me, when he suddenly jumped up and marched across the desk toward the door.  At the edge of the desk he peered into the hallway... and he growled.  As I type this I can still see in my mind's eye, what Majik saw - my dad standing in the doorway - someone he had never seen before.

After Daddy passed he would came to see us a lot and he would bring his skunk, Alvin - also in spirit - to play with Majik.  Maj would alert me that Daddy and Alvin were there because I'd see Majik playing with something or someone that I couldn't see.  (Note:  Alvin's spirit would show up as a 'zero' orb in photographs.)

When Majik was big enough to jump on the beds, Alvin would jump into the pillows and Majik would go after him.  Majik would hustle the pillows off the bed and sometimes get under the covers looking for Alvin and wreaking havoc with a once well made bed ---- and that was ok ~ most of the time.

When Majik arrived from South Carolina he was potty trained to use a litter box.  Well... I confused him on that almost immediately so he would take care of his business wherever he happened to be standing - and that was NOT ok! 

Early one morning after Fred left for work and Jesse went to school, Majik and I had a talk.  I put him on the seat of a chair and sat in the floor so we were nose to nose looking into each other's eyes.  I had his complete attention.  First I focused my mind's eye on his pottying in the house and filled my mind and body with displeasure.  Then I focused my mind's eye on his pottying outside in the grass and filled my mind and body with joy and happiness!

Majik got the picture.  He had one accident two weeks later then that was it - outside was his potty area.  YAY!

Majik was mine and Freddy's four legged human that didn't talk much until we returned home or guests arrived.  When we would come home he would scream.  Ever heard a poodle scream?  It can be deafening!  So he'd be told to get a toy.  You'd think he wouldn't be able to scream with a toy in his mouth, but Majik was really talented.

Majik was also an eavesdropper on conversations...  He knew everything, because he not only listened, he could read minds.  One day after Jesse moved out, Freddy and I were talking while Majik slept in my lap.  When I told Fred that Jesse was coming over, Majik jumped up from a sound sleep and went to the door where he cried till Jesse arrived.  Maj loved his "seester" - she teased him unmercifully, but he loved her anyway.  When she would leave she'd hug me till Majik would start the poodle scream wanting to be a part of the hug.  He loved "group hugs"! 

...And... he loved to dance - with me...  The boy had rhythm!  When I would play music and dance around the room, Majik would wiggle around and cry to be picked up so he could dance, too.  We would dance and his little head would bob to the music!  His favorite was "You can do Magic" by America.  A few weeks before his passing he demanded to dance with me to "Thriller" he thought that was exciting!

I groomed Maj for eight years.  It would take us hours...  He was so funny... he would fuss in his silent Majik voice that, "I could have come back as a wild coyote, but noooooooo... I came back in this lifetime as a high maintenance poodle!"  We would take so long that he would always fall asleep before we were finished.  His face was always last, and by that time - in his mind, he was done.  So he would yawn and snap his jaws - his nonverbal way of telling me he was done, then I would open the bathroom door and let him escape and he'd run around the house like a wild man!

I asked our vet to recommend a groomer and he did - in Parker - K9 Salon & Market.  But alas... Maj was high maintenance...  He wanted the owner to carry him around till it was his turn.  But once he was on the table, he was a professional - cooperating with every grooming position.  Knowing how Maj felt - that he needed that human interaction - I would do my best to arrive at his appointed time and be there when he was ready to be picked up - no waiting for that boy!

After each grooming session Maj would get a new bandana.  I didn't know he really liked the bandana till one day we were sitting on the sofa when I looked over and saw that his bandana had come untied.  Before I could reach over and tie it, Majik picked up the end with his teeth and was trying to put it back up on his shoulder!  So I bought fabric and pinking shears and he had lots of new bandanas!  And... he didn't want any thrown away - they were washed and reused!

One day after taking his old bandana off, I was cutting a new bandana and clearly I was taking too long!  Majik was prancing around crying for his new bandana!  I put it on him and he was perfectly content!

Majik liked to have his teeth brushed...  Miss Bunni had sent chicken flavor toothpaste and a toothbrush, but Majik was having none of it!  He didn't like chicken flavor toothpaste!  But he liked to get a drink out of the sink faucet while I was brushing my teeth so he became interested in my cinnamon toothpaste.  Bunni had told me that smell will guide Majik, so I rubbed my finger with my cinnamon and transferred the smell to Majik's toothbrush and tried brushing his teeth.  Majik liked it!  I couldn't find cinnamon toothpaste for dogs, but I did find doggy Vanilla Mint and he liked it, so washing Majik's face and brushing his teeth became a morning and night ritual.

Toys are plentiful at our house.  Majik loved getting new ones, so he had a LOT of them!  They were very inexpensive from Dog Supplies, so I would order them and keep them in a bag in my office.  He would get a new one when he went to the groomers (or just because I wanted to give him one).  I'd put it in a bag and tell him I had something for him.  OMG - he would get SO Excited!  You would think it was Christmas!  He'd nuzzle his way into the bag and pull out the toy and poke it and bite it and throw it and run around playing with it.  Then when Freddy would get home I'd ask Maj to show Freddy his new toy and he would.

One day while I was working, Majik jumped in my lap to get on the desk and I noticed he had feathers on him.  Feathers?  Really?  Then I remember I was washing sheets...  The rascal Majik had been rolling around on the feather mattress pad on the bed!  So I put the feathers on this angel and I keep it on my keyboard as a reminder of how magically limitless love is.

If you've participated in one of my classes or had an angel reading with me, Maj was either on my lap or on the desk soaking up the angel love energy with us.  He loved angel energy!

Caring for Grandma Laura
Majik went with Jesse and I and Jess's dog Jayden to Arkansas in 2012 to take care of my grandmother, Laura.  He and Jay were so sweet and gentle with Grandma.  Jay would sit on Grandma's lap and Majik would lie beside her because he was a little too heavy for her lap.  We had so many angelic visitors and Maj and Jay could see them.  Jesse and I would observe the boys licking in the air as if an unseen hand were petting them and they were responding.

A few weeks after Grandma passed, I was holding Majik on my lap sobbing through the grief when I looked into Majik's eyes and asked him if he missed Grandma, too?  Clear as day I heard him patiently say, "I see her all the time, I don't know what your problem is."

I was so surprised I stopped crying and laughed!  I felt the sadness shift and immediately saw grandma in my mind's eye sweeping the kitchen floor!  I can still see her clearly in this moment - proof that the experience was real!

Our last year together
When we moved into our house, Majik was nervous at first, but he loved the deck.  Before we moved in he wasn't a fan of being outside by himself, but that changed.  The deck is over a walk out basement so its high and the yard backs to a greenbelt, so Maj could see "wilderness."  He loved 'surveying' the greenbelt and going for walks.  They were sniffing excursions checking out all the social media spots where other dogs would leave information.  And sometimes he would meet other dogs on the walk.  He liked Buddy, a big gray Labradoodle and Troy, a Great Dane.  Troy called Maj, "Bandana Boy."  But he really liked the girls - especially little Happy.

In the spring of 2015 I noticed Maj was having trouble urinating.  I took him to our vet, Dr. Swieckowski at Franktown Animal Clinic and learned that he had a urinary infection.  We began treating it and it got better, but he still had trouble urinating.  Thus began our every three weeks (and sometimes every two weeks) visit to the vet.  Majik really liked Dr. Swieckowski (even though Majik said he stuck things where things shouldn't be stuck).  Doctor Swieckowski always called Maj "Handsome" and was gentle with him. 

During a visit in the middle of June the Doc discovered there was debris in Majik's bladder.  Doctor Swieckowski gave us Crananidin to try and flush it out. 

When we went back on July 1, the debris had become a very aggressive tumor that all but filled Majik's bladder and Maj wasn't feeling very good at all.  The tumor was cancer and it was dangerously close to blocking the urine from leaving his body. 

I reached out to you, the Soul Kisses community and the loving prayers poured in.  Majik was open to receiving Reiki and you sent it to him.  Someone sent him this book:  Whole-Pet Healing by Dr. Dennis W. Thomas.  I don't know who sent it - it was addressed to Majik from Amazon.  I love this book.  Please let me know who you are so I can thank you!  Roland Comtois sent us Holy Water blessed by John of God and we changed Majik's food to My Perfect Pet and Goat's milk.

Majik's regiment of medication and food was:
~ T-Relief
~ Crananidin
~ Chinese Herbs
~ Piroxicam
~ Holy Water blessed by John of God splashed on his food
~ Goat's milk
~ My Perfect Pet - buffalo or chicken

We also used The Journey Method of healing by Brandon Bays (paperback revised and upgraded edition from Amazon).

In less than 60 days the tumor that had practically filled his bladder was GONE!

And Majik felt good - really good.  Life was good for everyone and we celebrated.

But Maj still had difficulty urinating so we still went to the vet's office every two to three weeks to keep a close eye.  He also leaked urine so we got him Belly Bands.  He really didn't like them, but then I  made him matching belly band covers and bandanas.  The batman fabric was his favorite.  (The belly band brand we used was Veterinarian's Best Comfort-Fit - and I ordered them from Amazon)

We developed a daily routine of washing his little tummy with a warm wet washcloth and puppy wipes, drying with a soft towel, and putting a little A&D Ointment on if necessary, then a new belly band.  Sometimes at night he'd fall asleep while he was getting cleaned up.  At night instead of a belly band (because he would wriggle out of them) he'd wear a baby's onesie t-shirt that I'd modified to fit him with a heavy feminine pad in it.  He really preferred to sleep naked - and it broke his little heart to have to wear a onesey, but we always made it a big deal of how cute he was, so he tolerated it.

Then the tumor came back.  It began as a white expanse in the lining of his bladder then it grew into the bladder almost as a shelf.  Dr. Swieckowski increased the Piroxicam and the tumor reduced for a few weeks.

Snow and Thanksgiving
Majik LOVED the snow.  I never got much work done on the first day of snow, because Maj was worse than a kid - in and and out - in and out.  AND of course he had to have all the cold gear on - sweater, snowsuit or onesie and boots of some kind.  Funny thing was... he didn't think he could walk in his snowsuit, onesie or any kind of shoes if he was in the house, but once he was outside, he not only could walk, he could run!

Thanksgiving came and Freddy and I took Maj to Estes Park - the three of us in a small mountain cabin - and it snowed.    I had packed well - he had his sweaters, snowsuit and onesie with snowshoes.  We had a great time, even though it was cold, we each bundled up and walked by the river and Majik LOVED it!

We weren't leaving Maj at home by himself much since he first got sick, but with the diagnosis of the tumor, we never left him alone.  If the tumor blocked the urethra he would be in terrible pain, so if Majik couldn't go, we didn't either.  I got him one of those Kakato Polyester Pet Chest Backpacks - and Maj was cool with it.  It was a perfect fit for him and it was easy for me to carry him.  I didn't get any pictures of him in it, but he sure was cute.

With Thanksgiving came the diagnosis of the tumor shelf getting even larger.  When the tumor came back, I knew Majik had decided he was not going to stay in his physical body. 

It was then that I knew we needed to honor his wishes.  When he decided he did not like the Renal Support and stopped eating any food with it on it, I had to give it to him in a syringe.  He hated that and it wasn't going to extend his life, so that had to stop.  Then in the end he stopped eating his food.  I would spread a beach towel out on the floor and pull out whatever I thought he might eat from the fridge and we'd try one thing at a time till he ate something.  He had to have food on his stomach to take the Piroxicam.

When he wouldn't eat anything I'd give him applesauce in a syringe.  Sometimes he liked it and sometimes... not so much..., but he swallowed it anyhow.  The lack of appetite on a consistent basis occurred his last two weeks...

My guides had told me that I would have to help Maj complete his journey and that I would know when it "was time."  Of course my human brain wanted to know "how" would I know?

I watched Majik constantly for indications of pain.  He began to pant when it wasn't hot, have trouble pooing and all but stopped eating.  But he still ran and played and had parts of the day that he felt good - and he loved his walks. 

On December 7, Freddy was throwing a toy for Maj in the basement.  While he was running after the toy I noticed his back legs were shaking uncontrollably.  By the time we got upstairs the trembling had stopped, but he wasn't having a good day - he really did not feel good.

The next day we had to take daughter, Jesse, to the airport at o'dark thirty.  Freddy drove us and I held Maj.  His back legs were trembling just enough to feel it all the way to the airport and back and he couldn't get comfortable.

When we got back the trembling stopped and we took a nap.  Then Freddy and I took Maj for a walk.  I washed my hair and was sitting in front of the mirror drying it while Maj lay in the walk-in closet watching me.  When I started to use the flat iron, he came over and got into my lap and looked me right in the eye in the mirror.

He never did that - looked into the mirror.  I would hold him up to the mirror and show him how cute he was, but he wouldn't look.  But that day, he did - looked me right in the eye and told me, "It's time."

I called Miss Bunni for support and I got it.  She told me that even if I had helped Maj complete his journey when he was first diagnosed, it wouldn't have been too soon.  Dogs adapt to pain and that's what Maj was doing.  I was keeping him here for me - medicating him, feeding him with a syringe.  Even though he was having a pretty good day, it was because he was learning to adapt to the pain and there is no honor in that.

I called the vet and made the appointment for that afternoon to help Maj complete his journey. 

I told Freddy and then I took Maj for his last walk through the greenbelt.  He met two girls on his walk and was really happy about meeting them.  Majik knew it was his last walk... and he was ok with that.  He wasn't afraid of death at all - he understood his spirit would be free and he could still be with me - after all my dad, Big Jim, and Grandma were still around!

Freddy and I were the ones drowning in grief.

When we got back, I sat and held him and asked him if he would come back to me and he assured me he would.  In those moments I saw him in a new puppy body and I heard "March" softly whispered in my ear.

Even so, I kept thinking I was losing my mind... how could I end his little life?  But I knew I had to honor him and help him complete his journey.  I knew with every cell of my being that Daddy would come to get him and Maj would be fine - and he was. 

On the way to the vet's office, Freddy crawled through residential neighborhoods so Maj could have his face out the window and breathe in the fresh cool air while I held him safe.  He enjoyed that. 

He was wearing his Batman bandana and matching belly band.  I took the belly band off of him before we went into the vet's office and wrapped him in a beach towel so he wouldn't be embarrassed wearing the belly band.

Our hearts were broken when we left the vet's office. 

The next morning as my angels helped me process through the pain of my grief, I saw Maj running around in a green meadow of lush green grass, then he jumped into a snow bank and snow flew everywhere!  I heard my dear sweet grandma laughing.  She and Maj were having a really great time.  Then I saw him jump into the arms of Jesus.  He was safe.

I knew Grandma and my angelic team would take good care of him.  Before Maj passed I woke up in the night to see him at the foot of the bed sitting with Grandma's spirit - and she had turned on the little night light on his collar.  That light wasn't easy to turn on - it had to be turned 3/4 of the way around to turn it on.  He was just sitting there with it on looking at me.  I think they were making plans.

I know Majik is fine, but I still cry every day and I feel so lost...  My heart calls his name and I hear, "I'm here, mom, I'm here!" in his little voice, just like when he was in his body and I couldn't find him.  Then I see him in spirit and he's having a great time. 

A couple weeks after he passed, I was standing at the door to the deck missing him when I saw his spirit on the deck.  He was so excited - his silent little voice yelled, "Watch this!" and he ran in through the closed door - then he ran back out - in and out and in and out - he thought it was SO Cool that he could do that without the door being open.

Then one day I was sitting at the table eating and there he was sitting in the chair across from me with his head on the table watching me.  I had to laugh - he was never allowed to do that in his physical body, but he conveyed he can do whatever he wants now. 

At the end... I turned to football to help me release the painful emotions of watching Majik decline - yeah... football...  Maj would watch it with me - well, he would lie in my lap or beside me till I started yelling and screaming, then he'd move to the back of the sofa (we can't have guests when I watch football).  If Majik was an eye roller, (like a human kid) this would be when he would've done it.  But he was ok with "fist bumping" when we scored a touchdown - he loved happy energy.   When he felt good we'd play with his football...  I could feel his energy with us during the Super Bowl...  probably rolling his little eyes at how out of control his mom was...

Rainbows
Our house is magical --- coming alive with rainbows in the sunlight that filters through the windows. They appear in a bathroom with no windows, in the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom, the hallway, the mirror edges, and in my office on the walls, the keyboard and when he was in his physical body - on Majik! 

On the way to the vet the day we helped Majik complete his journey, I asked him if he would come to me in rainbows.  He has.

Rainbows have revealed themselves to me in the coffee table, the glass I was drinking from, splashed across the dining room wall, the bathroom mirror edge and in the snow.  After Maj passed Freddy opened the front door to see how much snow he'd have to shovel off the porch and the sunlight revealed thousands of blue, red and green diamonds sparkling in the snow - Maj's rainbow.

And... I see the batman emblem at the oddest times.  I came out of a store at an outdoor mall while it was freezing and there was a huge man wearing a Batman T-shirt and no coat, a batman emblem hanging from a car's rear view mirror, and the batman emblem pops up all the time on my computer and I've never searched for it.  Thanks, Maj!

Since Majik passed I've discovered a part of myself that I never knew existed - and I like this part of me.  I've had some really unhappy, disappointing experiences in my life, but now I'm stronger than I've ever been and I see the teachings of the angels so clearly - I see that path of happiness.  I didn't expect Majik's transition to catapult me into a new expression of my BE-ing, but it has and I am grateful for 'seeing' the perfection in this ''beyond painful' situation.

Majik brought love to Mother Earth with his physical self and he continues to infuse my life with love from spirit.

Freddy and I created a memorial for Majik over the fireplace and it's still up, but I believe it'll be coming down soon because he's going to want to play with those toys...

This is one of my favorite pictures of my angel baby Majik.
Freddy says his eyes follow you - just like when he was here - watching everything I did, making sure I was ok.