Soul Kisses Spiritual Whispers - Spiritual Mastery with Kate Large  


Suppress Grief?  You Betcha!
As published in Kajama

When we hear the term grief or grieving, we naturally think of the death of a loved one. The physical world conditions us to believe that death of the physical body is a bad thing, but elevated consciousness tells us that this isn't true, that the death of the physical body is only a transition - an exhale of breath from one life form to another, a shift from human to spirit.

The spirit lives on in both the physical world and the angelic realm. Some of us can see the spirit, and some of us can't. If we can't see them, does it mean that the spirits of loved ones are not here with us? There are times we clearly hear them say something to us or we feel their presence, or we think about them and then their favorite song comes on the radio. We experience things that let us know that they are near. The truth is, we're not alone.

As humanoids, we learn to "suck it up" when life gets difficult. We learn to suppress negative, bad or painful emotions and move on with our lives, but so many times when we do this, we effectively block out our ability to experience and express joy, happiness and love. In effect, we subconsciously induce an emotional coma - a physical shut-down of our emotional life. We do this to protect ourselves, but in reality, suppressing pain quashes our ability to really live.

The reality is that we either don't want or don't know how to allow ourselves to experience the stages of grief: shock, anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance, as well as the emotions of despair, guilt, sadness and fear.

Death is not the only thing that generates grief. Everyday things we deal with can also bring about grieving, such as the loss of a job, loss of a friendship, a child moving away from home, moving house, divorce, illness, etc. Each of these things has their own way of creating pain. As the level of pain depends on where they fall on our scale of importance, any one of them can be quite devastating.

Grief is its own animal. It's a living, breathing thing that cannot be suppressed forever, and there are consequences in trying. I experienced this myself recently when I discovered how easily our physicality and our human emotions can hide from our spiritual selves.

My dad transitioned home on October 31, 2005. To others, it appeared that I handled it all quite well. My daughter was afraid I was going to crack and she wouldn't know what to do with me, but I didn't crack - at least, not for weeks.

When I returned to the family fold for the funeral, we celebrated Daddy's life. There were sadness and tears, but there were also love, laughter and reminiscence on days past. There were stories of how amazingly creative and healing he was. It was a beautiful and special time - like family reunions are supposed to be.

Upon returning home I was very busy, and then it was Thanksgiving, then Christmas. Without knowing it, I was too busy to grieve, and I was suppressing my grief to the extent that I was suppressing joy, happiness and love. My biggest clue that I was in trouble was when I found myself holding my breath and experiencing a perpetual feeling of motion - almost like the weightlessness experienced in an elevator. If I breathed deeply it would get better, but the next thing I knew I was holding my breath again, and the perpetual feeling of motion came back stronger than before.

As a spiritual student, I believe completely that I have communicated with my dad since his physical death, so I thought I was handling his transition - was coming to terms with it. In truth, I had subconsciously induced an emotional coma, and I really wasn't functioning very well.

When I realized this, I went to the bookstore and got the book <u>Healing Grief</u> by James Van Praagh. There I was on page 13: Denial. I was in denial, and to maintain denial, I had cut myself off from everything bad and everything good - hence the emotional coma.

Despite this, I was still functioning somewhat, right up until my mom told me she was going to the cemetery on Christmas Eve. That did it. I cried and cried and cried. In my mind, it was wrong to be happy with Daddy gone, and I was absolutely BESIDE myself that I had left him at the cemetery. I LEFT HIM! How could I have done that?

By this time, the perpetual feeling of motion I was experiencing was really uncomfortable, and that discomfort was a consequence of suppressing grief. Somehow I had to grieve. It wasn't that I thought I didn't have to - that because of my spiritual beliefs, it wasn't necessary for me to grieve. It wasn't that I thought I had grieved and I was finished. The fact was that I didn't know how. I had been rejoicing at all the many messages I had received from my dad through spiritual friends, meditations and dreams - which is good - but now I was struggling to grieve on a more physical level.

Loss is a very physical thing. I think if it were tangible, it would be like chewing gum stuck all over the body, but instead of it being pink, it would be a mass of dark slippery gray material that sticks to all it touches and can't be pulled or wiped off.

During this timeframe, my dear friend Barbara Mark recommended I call her daughter Suzanne and ask her to help me release the emotions I was suppressing. When I didn't call Suzanne right away, Barbara strongly insisted. I called Suzanne. My experience with Suzanne was a spiritual milestone in my life.

Suzanne uses the Sedona Method, which is a simple, powerful, easy-to-learn technique that helps us release suppressed emotions. Together, Suzanne and I identified the emotions I was experiencing, and then we pinpointed one area I was having a hard time with. I was feeling overwhelmed because I couldn't focus because I was so sad.

Suzanne asked me to embrace the feeling - to welcome it into my body. The first question Suzanne asked me was, "Could I let it go?" As I said yes, I felt the feelings dissipating. Then she asked me, "Would I let it go?" Again I said yes, and the feelings dissipated even more. By the time she asked me the last question, "When would I let it go?" the feelings were gone!

After my first session with Suzanne, I could breathe and the perpetual motion was better! I scheduled my next session with Suzanne for two weeks away so I would have plenty of time to work by myself, embracing emotions by asking these questions and allowing the emotions to dissipate. I was amazed how easy it was, and it was working!

My second session with Suzanne was a miracle. I had been working by myself to release and dissipate suppressed emotions and was discovering emotions and un-forgiveness that I had been suppressing for years. Every time I released, I found more layers of suppressed emotions. As a result, the feeling of perpetual motion that I was experiencing was back, and it was getting harder to stand without holding on to something. I felt as if there was a massive hand on my chest, pushing me backward.

As Suzanne and I began the session, I could no longer sit in my chair - I had to lie down on the floor. Within just a few minutes, Suzanne helped me to dissipate deep-seated emotions. I actually felt the emotions as if they were tangible objects moving up through my body and out through my crown chakra. The experience was beyond amazing!

I have continued to use the Sedona Method to release not only suppressed emotions, but also un-forgiveness. This method is amazing because it is so simple and powerful. Working alone I achieve great results, but in working with Suzanne, I receive magnificent results.

As spirits living in physical bodies, we have no choice but to experience grief. As I mentioned before, it is its own animal, and there are consequences to trying to suppress it, whether they manifest consciously or subconsciously. Suppressing emotions in the physical body will make the physical body sick. This is a fact.

There are many, many tools to help us move the grieving process along. It is up to each of us to recognize that grieving is needed. Loss in our lives - whether it is the death of a loved one or a change of condition or situation - is still loss. There is no way to get around it: loss is loss. Facing loss and accepting it in appropriate, healthy ways is necessary to maintain our health, balance and ability to function in the physical world.

Remember, grief has no script, no book, no directions, no guidelines. Allow yourself to grieve without suppression. Embrace your loss and take its power to cripple you away.

Also, at all costs, allow yourself to experience joy with abandon - without guilt. Breathe deeply and live.


Suzanne Mark may be contacted through her website:

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